


Lessons

by squeeliferuiner



Series: Compromise [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack Pairing, LSV, M/M, accidental RP, fire ants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-03
Updated: 2013-04-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 09:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/746852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squeeliferuiner/pseuds/squeeliferuiner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What have you learned today, Sitwell?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lessons

The intercom crackles. Romanova must have told someone about the handcuffs and the comm lying just out of reach.

“What have you learned today, Sitwell?”

It’s Hill. Of course. His head is in a daze, between the aftermath of the god and the _burning_ of Romanova’s revenge for the thing with the god. Not exactly his preferred state for talking to the assistant director of SHIELD. Which probably explains why what comes out of his mouth is, “Not to leave my handcuffs where Loki can find them, ma’am,” instead of something _useful_ or at least non-incriminating. 

“Really? That’s all you learned? For shame, Jasper. Where were your keys when Loki accessed your handcuffs?”

Sitwell winces and shifts. The ants have fled, but it’s going to be a long time before the welts disappear. “Also not to anger Agent Romanova? Which I did already know.” He shifts again. “As for the keys, I do not know.”

“Really? Once again, that’s all you learned? I guess you’ll need to sit and think some more.”

His shoulders ache. He closes his eyes, as if that could shut out everything, but: what he sees is a very vivid memory of the column of Loki’s throat when his head fell back, mouth open, eyes closed, panting and moving over him.

“If you’re implying I should have learned not to get handsy with the Asgardian Asshole…” he keeps his eyes closed and smiles, “I regret nothing.”

A different voice on the ‘com, then. Oh, great, everyone can hear this conversation. “We’ll see if you still regret nothing in three months, yeah?” It’s Barton.

“Why, what happens in three months?”

“You pee on a stick. That asshole can knock up _anything_.”

Sitwell’s eyes open again and he frowns. He wants to point out that there was a condom, but…well, that’s also probably more than Barton needs to know, first, and second, who knows if they even work with Asgardians. He half-wonders why Loki bothered. “Ugh. Great. Can’t you just send Medical up here to, ah, deal with that?”

“Nope,” Barton says, and Sitwell can hear the glee in his tone over the intercom. “There’s still a lot to learn about Asgardian physiology, and since that asshole’s not even an Asgardian, not really, who the fuck knows.”

“Still feel like he was a good bed partner, Sitwell?” That’s Hill again. “By the way. One, listen to my orders, and two, don’t taunt Barton. Those are two more things you should have learned.”

He sighs. “I did try to listen to your orders, ma’am. He got handsy with me. Not the other way around. And I do try to leave Barton alone, but he makes it way too easy.”

“He also has a ranged weapon and deadly hand-to-hand combat skills,” Barton snaps.

“So do I, Barton. You don’t scare me.”

“Hey, Nat, got any more of those flammenwerfer ants around?”

His door opens, the lock having been overridden, and a tech from medical is there, eyeing him in frank disapproval. He shrugs and grins. _What can you do, eh?_

Without acknowledging him, the tech unlocks the handcuffs, drops a tub of salve on the bed next to him, and leaves. He sits up, rubbing his wrists, and grabs the comm headset back, putting it back in his ear.

“Too late, Barton, Medical let me loose. Sorry to disappoint.” 


End file.
